Dear Female Founder: You’re Not Behind – You’re Breaking Generational Patterns

Read Time: 7 mins

Audio Recording

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Dear Heart-Centered Female Founder,

This is for the women building businesses from scratch - with grit, purpose, and a heart full of dreams. But especially for those of us carrying culture, trauma, and expectations on our backs. The women of colour who are building and breaking cycles at the same time.

The world never gave us a blueprint, sis. No roadmap to break free from our family’s expectations. No step-by-step to navigate the cultural guilt or societal gaslighting. No guide to building something aligned with your soul.

And yet – here you are, doing it anyway.

You’re not behind. You’re building something no one in your lineage dared to dream of. Therapy? Coaching? Spiritual alignment? WTF?!

I see you. Tired of code-switching, tired of over-delivering, tired of shrinking into boxes that were never meant to hold your magic.

This is my love letter to you. As a Chinese-Canadian woman, a child of immigrants from Hong Kong. A story I hope makes you feel seen and a little less alone.

I used to feel like I was always falling behind. Still do sometimes, to be honest.

Even though I’ve always been loud, opinionated, expressive (to many people’s dismay), I often felt invisible. Because the rooms I walked into weren’t made for me. They were designed by men – white men – for themselves. And women (especially women of colour) who could “play the game,” conform, and keep the peace.

I tried.I tried so hard to fit in.

But here’s the thing: I was never going to be the quiet, agreeable Asian woman who crunches numbers and makes everyone comfortable.

I’m a bold-ass, big-dreaming, spiritual-ass Asian woman who is not in Finance or Accounting, so corporate folks don’t know what to do with me.

I also married a white dude whose all-white family, originally from a small town – and they didn't know what to do with me either 🙃 (That’s a whole other story for another blog.)

In short: I didn’t belong anywhere.

Not Chinese enough for Hong Kong.Not white enough for Canada.Not corporate enough for the C-suite.Not crunchy or quiet enough for motherhood groups.

So what’s a girl to do?

Build her own f*cking rooms. Create her own damn community.

I didn’t learn that until my 30s.In my early 20s I was numbing my trauma and pain with partying, unhealthy decisions, and toxic relationships. In my late 20s, I was deep in healing from sexual assault trauma. And when I decided to build a business, that healing cracked me open all over again.

Starting a coaching and consulting business meant peeling back every layer I had used to protect myself. It meant confronting impostor syndrome, perfectionism, money trauma, and fear of visibility. It meant saying I matter – my voice matters – even when the world told me otherwise.

My immigrant parents worked so hard. They put me and my sisters through private school so we could have “better opportunities.”They didn’t understand hugs, or check-ins, or asking “what makes you happy?”But they gave us the best they could with what they knew.

Both of my sisters became the “good Asian kids” – finance and accounting.Then there was me: the weirdo creative turned coach, doing “woo woo” things they still don’t understand.

One time, in my 30s, after having a kid, my dad asked me how I was working from home if I was a bank teller. (Spoiler alert: I hadn’t worked as a bank teller in over a decade) 😅

So yeah…Choosing to be a self-love coach and EDI consultant was scary as hell. Because no one handed me this dream. I had to build it. From scratch. With self-trust, therapy, coaching, and inner work.

You might have been taught to attach your worth to productivity .To perform. To hustle. To prove.

But how’s that working out for your spirit?

Let me offer this instead: Lead from a place of purpose.

What do YOU want? Beyond money, culture, talent, expectations – what would actually feel good?What would bring you lightness, love, joy, peace?

Purpose doesn’t have to be some big saviour mission. Maybe it’s just becoming a better friend.Or helping others learn from your mistakes.

It doesn’t have to be flashy. It just has to be real.

And if you can’t see the vision yet – Let me be your partner in believing.

I’m building this platform to share free, accessible value and make sure no woman of colour entrepreneur ever feels like she has to do this alone.

I’m building this for us – to heal generational trauma, to build generational wealth, and to leave a legacy of liberation, not limitation.

So if you’re reading this, I believe in you. I really, really do. Let’s make some f*cking magic.

5 Things I Know to Be True (To Support You):

1. You are not behind – you are building something brand new. There is no roadmap for trailblazers. Stop judging your timeline by someone else’s.

2. Rest isn’t lazy – it’s necessary. Productivity doesn’t equal worthiness. If it feels like a grind, you’re chasing someone else’s agenda. Rest lets you return to yourself, your flow, and your fire.

3. Your story is power. Even the messy, shame-filled, painful chapters – especially those. Share what you’re comfortable to share. Someone needs it.

4. You can be scared and be brave. Fear doesn’t mean stop. It just means you’re stepping into something bigger.

5. You are enough. You are exactly where you’re meant to be. Not when you hit the next milestone. Not when you’re “healed.” Right now. As you are. Where you are.

   
   

Let me know how I can support your glow up. I’ve got space, tools, and time to help you shine! ✨

💞Love Yourself First ~ Messy, Loud, and Free